The Wicker Man

For full press info or to buy tickets, go to http://www.darkroomsf.com/wickerman/

Frown Land: The Happiness Show

Uphill Both Ways Recycles!

The San Francisco Improv Alliance Presents
Improv Juggernaut Comedy:
The Halloween Spectacular!

Things We Made

Every Sunday 8PM $5

In the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000,
except you can't tell which ones are the robots.
— David Manning

Cinema is our culture's dominant art form.
It holds up a mirror to who we are.
It reflects our society, our dreams, our hopes, our fears.
Our films are how future generations are going to judge us.

Unfortunately, most of them suck.

Seriously, though—ever notice how you can't walk down the street or open a magazine or stand in line at a store or simply exist without ads for some dumbass multi-zillion dollar movie about a talking kangaroo being shoved down your throat?

And then they expect you to pay fifteen dollars to see it in some googolplex, and after sitting through a half hour of commercials? Or watch it on DVD and have to sit through even more commercials and anti-piracy ads that you can't skip past? Doesn't it all just piss you off?

If so—or if you just like to have a good time—then Bad Movie Night is for you.

Laugh with the hosts riffing on the movie. Yell your own comments. Try to figure out what the hell "Skull Films!" means. Help yourself to the free popcorn. Enjoy the intoxicating, brown-bagged beverage of your choice purchased from the store across the street. (Don't worry if the guy behind the counter glares at you. He does that to everyone.)

Best of all, only pay five measly bucks.

Join us.

Read!	Sherilyn Connelly's essay about Bad Movie Night at Medialoper.
Watch!	The Bad Movie Night slideshow on sfgate.com.			click and print me!
Listen!	An audience recording of our 1/6/08 show (Snakes on a Plane) on some guy's blog.
Obey!	The Bad Movie Survival Guide on io9, written by us.
Pine!	All the Bad Movie Nights you missed from 2008, 2007 and 2005-2006!
Print!	The current flyer. (4" x 10.5", 260KB jpeg) Suitable for taping to your fridge, framing, or wrapping fish.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

(the ring two)

There are sequels and there are remakes. Frequently the twain shall meet, and never more frequently have the twain met than in the Ring series.

It started as a novel called Ring, which itself was inspired by a Japanese folk tale. Which is cool, because everything has to come from somewhere. It was made into a teevee movie and a series, and then two movies which were released at the same time in 1998: Ring (which is great and scary and available through Netflix and San Francisco's badass public library system) and its sequel Ring Spiral, aka Rasen.

"so, who was the bigger monkey--king kong or jack black?"

Ring was a big hit, but Ring Spiral didn't do so well, and lost its "official sequel" status the following year with the release of Ring 2. (Ring Spiral is now pretty much the Exorcist II: The Heretic of the series.) The original series concluded with a prequel called Ring 0: Birthday in 2000. It also was made into manga novels, because that's what they do over there.

Meanwhile, in 1999 it was also made into a Korean horror movie called The Ring Virus, which was more faithful to the original source novel as well as being the first Japanese-Korean coproduction. In 2000 a game for the Dreamcast (remember that system?) was released called The Ring: Terror's Realm, which by all accounts sucked hairy donkey balls.

The sucking of hairy donkey balls leads us to the American remake.

What can we say? It was Americanized. Director Gore Verbinski displayed his prodigious talent for overproduced, overwritten crap which would find fruition in the next few years with the Pirates of the Caribbean series. He took all the eerie elements from the original Ring film and amped them up to such a degree that the lost all their sense of menace—specially the cursed video, which was so unsettling in the original but feels like a bad student film in Verbiniski's version. Then there's the horrible, sub-Matrix green filter over every scene. (Yeah, we get it. Video. Spooky!) And don't even get me started on the movie poster showing Naomi Watts in mid-sneeze.

The film was a hit, because Americans reward mediocrity. Verbinski was busy with the Pirates crapfest, but orginal Ring director Hideo Nakata had nothing better to do (and foreign directors remaking their own movies in English is always in vogue), so he helmed the inevitable sequel. Which is technically called The Ring Two, not The Ring 2. Why? Because of the "o" in two. It's a ring. Clever, huh?)

But at least bringing back the original director made it not suck so much, right? Right?

Let's just say you'll wish you were watching Ring Spiral instead. Or even playing the video game.

Before your hosts Sherilyn Connelly, Wylie Herman and Geekboy die,
they will see this crappy movie.

Upcoming Phlegms:

October 12, 2008 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning The original Chainsaw claimed to be based a true story. It wasn't, not really. The remake claimed also claimed to be claimed to be based a true story, which was even less true. Guess how real the remake's prequel is? Buzzing pandemonium reigns. Hosts: Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Sherilyn Connelly and other cattle.

October 19, 2008 The Hills Have Eyes 2 Director Wes Craven produces and co-writes the sequel to the remake of his 1977 film, though it's not a remake of the original's sequel The Hills Have Eyes Part II from 1985, because that would just be pointless and self-indulgent. Rolling wackiness ensues. Hosts: Sherilyn Connelly, Geekboy, Mike Spiegelman and other hillbillies.

October 26, 2008 The Grudge 2 Not to be outdone by Hideo Nakata, original Ju-on: The Grudge director Takashi Shimizu directs both the crappy American remake and this even crappier sequel. Suck it, Hideo! Bitter pandemonium reigns. Hosts: Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Sherilyn Connelly and other cranky ghosts.

November 2, 2008 Battlestar Galactica (1978) The first three episodes of the series edited into a movie and released to theaters, but c'mon, this is so not Battlestar Galactica. Adama is white? The Cylons aren't sexy? Starbuck's a dude? I mean, what the frack? Turbo-powered wackiness ensues. Hosts: Sherilyn Connelly, A.J. Margolis, Mike Spiegelman and other toasterfrackers.
Proof that this piece of felgercarb played in theaters.

November 9, 2008 Star Crash (1978) A young David Hasselhoff stars in an Italian...oh, why bother? We had you at Hasselhoff. Starchy pandemonium reigns. Hosts: Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Geekboy and other baywatchers.

November 16, 2008 Moonraker (1979) James Bond bangs chicks while foiling a madman's plans for world domination. Except this time it's in space! With rayguns! Shaken (not stirred) wackiness ensues. Hosts: Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Justin Lamb and other secret agents.

MONDAY, November 17, 2008 Special Life Day Event! (1978) On November 17, 1978, families all over America sat down to watch a teevee holiday special based on the most popular movie ever. (Including the Connellys on Tenaya Avenue in Fresno, whose five year-old didn't get to see the movie the year before.) Thirty years later, we get revenge. Lumpy pandemonium reigns. Hosts: Special surprise guest hosts will be Riffing on prerecorded Trax.

November 23, 2008 Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979) Also a theatrical movie culled from the first few episodes, the producers of Battlestar Galactica use leftoever effects and props for an even crappier Star Wars ripoff. But it's okay, because thousands of teenage boys discovered masturbation after seeing Erin Gray in her shiny form-fitting spacesuits. Accidentally frozen wackiness ensues. Hosts: Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, A.J. Margolis and other hunky astronauts.

We couldn't find the movie trailer, so please enjoy Damon Packard's "Space Rockers."

November 30, 2008 The Black Hole (1979) Disney's first and only attempt at a big-budget, PG-rated sci-fi action movie. In the works since the mid-seventies, it wasn't considered a major project until Star Wars changed everything, nor was it originally so focused on "cute" robots. (Note: our curator Sherilyn is offended at herself for putting this movie on the schedule. She's very fond of The Black Hole, so by definition it's a "good" movie and nobody should make fun of it.) Heavily matted wackiness ensues. Hosts: Sherilyn Connelly, Geekboy, Mike Spiegelman, and other huge sucking vortices.

12/7/08: Santa Claus: The Movie 12/14/08: It's a Wonderful Life 12/21/08: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) 12/28/08: The Perfect Holiday

1/4/09: Snakes on a Plane 1/11/09: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 1/18/09: The Incredible Hulk (2008) 1/25/09: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The Dark Room is a Rifftrax affiliate!


The itty-bitty Bad Movie Night Archive links: 2008 | 2007 | 2005-2006