Come one, come all, it's Trainwreck Cabaret, San Francisco's most unusual variety show. From the stage of the Dark Room Theater in the Mission District, Trainwreck captures the old-world charm of vaudeville with a dark, new-world twist. It's weird and wild, sexy and sublime, hairy and hilarious, a showcase for the independent side of our City's creative underground. Now in our second year, Trainwreck's growing troupe of talented performers includes comedians, sword swallowers, puppeteers, musicians, singers, burlesque dancers and more.
Why Trainwreck? It sometimes is! And it's always entertaining. We ask our performers to go out on a limb and grasp the unusual fruit, take a chance, and create something wonderful. Spend an unforgettable evening with us and witness the oddities, laugh at the geeks, swoon for the dancers and swing with the singers. There is truly nothing like it!
Chivalry is certainly NOT dead! Join the Chivalry Club for a display of revelry and laughs aplenty! The men don vests and the ladies dress in their finest attire for a montage of good spirited wit and commentary on the social cues of modern society. Chivalry Club looks forward to sharing their affinity for ascots and finely aged scotch with the beautiful people of New York!
In the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000, except you can't tell which ones are the robots. - David Manning
Cinema is our culture's dominant art form.
It holds up a mirror to who we are.
It reflects our society, our dreams, our hopes, our fears.
Our films are how future generations are going to judge us.
Unfortunately, most of them suck.
Seriously, though - ever notice how you can't walk down the street or open a magazine or stand in line at a store or simply exist without ads for some dumbass multi-zillion dollar movie about a talking kangaroo
being shoved down your throat?
And then they expect you to pay fifteen dollars to see it in some googolplex, and after sitting through a half hour of commercials? Or watch it on DVD and have to sit through even more commercials and anti-piracy ads that you can't skip past? Doesn't it all just piss you off?
If so - or if you just like to have a good time - then Bad Movie Night is for you.
Laugh with the hosts riffing on the movie. Yell your own comments. Try to figure out what the hell "Skull Films!" means. Help yourself to the free popcorn. Enjoy the non-alcoholic beverage of your choice purchased from the store across the street. Don't worry if the guy behind the counter glares at you. He does that to everyone.
Best of all, only pay six measly bucks (and ninety-nine measly cents).
So, as we saw last week, sometimes studios will go to desperate lengths to find positive reviews of their bad movies. (Let's face it: there's nothing more desperate than quoting me.)
The other tack, of course, is what the stars and producers did for this week's feature.
Rather than gathering up what positive notices they could find, they went on the attack against those mean ol' critics.
“I think the reviews were written seven to eight months before we released the film,” Depp proclaims in a new interview.
Disney’s costly feature, which could lose as much as $190 million, never stood a chance of succeeding because of overtly negative press, according to the Oscar-nominated actor.
“I think the reviews were written when they heard Gore (Verbinski) and Jerry (Bruckheimer) and me were going to do ‘The Lone Ranger’,” Depp said. “They had expectations that it must be a blockbuster. I didn’t have any expectations of that. I never do.”
Bruckheimer, who made millions off the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise with Depp, agreed when it came to the press’ coverage.
“I think they were reviewing the budget, not reviewing the movie, ” Bruckheimer told Yahoo U.K.-Ireland. “The audience doesn’t care what the budget is — they pay the same amount if it costs a dollar or 20 million dollars.”
“It’s unfortunate because the movie is a terrific movie, it’s a great epic film. It has lots of humor. Its one of those movies that whatever critics missed in it this time, they’ll review it in a few years and see that they made a mistake.”
Depp’s co-star, Armie Hammer, who played the title character in the $250 million film, echoed their sentiments.
“This is the deal with American critics: they’ve been gunning for our movie since it was shut down the first time,” Hammer said, “That’s when most of the critics wrote their initial reviews.”
The 26 year-old actor was referring the summer of 2011 when Disney, just weeks before the film was supposed to originally shoot, pulled the plug in order to trim the movie’s steep budget. The studio ultimately greenlit “Lone Ranger” after the three principals, Depp, Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski, agreed to take a pay cut.
“They tried to do the same thing with ‘World War Z’,” Hammer said of the critical backlash.”It didn’t work, the movie was successful. Instead they decided to slit the jugular of our movie.”
Your hosts Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, and Ira Emsig would rather just slit their own jugulars.
March 16, 2014
Jeff Bridges does Men in Black, except that he doesn't wear black. Or really do anything at all, except not want to be there.
Grave wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other tombstoners.
March 23, 2014
Patrick Swayze plays a high-school football player leading a bunch of kids in a battle against - actually, no, wrong Wolverine(s).
Adamantium pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Dan Foley, Alexia Staniotes, and other Jackmans.
Bad Movie Night's Ninth Anniversary!
March 30, 2013
Red Dawn Patrick Swayze plays a high-school football player leading a bunch of kids in a battle against multicultural commies.
Painful, probably socialist math: this will be the tenth time we've done this movie.
Socialized pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other Wolverines!!!11!!1
April 6, 2014
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Max never had to get to Thunderdome in the first two films, but apparently now he has to get beyond it. Or already has. (Spoilers!)
Mulleted wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Alexia Staniotes, Tim Kay, and other Entities.
April 13, 2014
Dunno what the conspiracy theory is, but it probably involves Jews. Because Mel Gibson and all.
Illuminati-tory pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Ira Emsig, Tristan Buckner, and other Freemasons.
April 20, 2014
Lethal Weapon 4
So many unanswered questions from the first three Lethal Weapon pictures, you understand.
Completely safe wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Dan Foley, and other Pescis.
April 27, 2014
If the question is "Mel Gibson as Hamlet?", the answer is definitely "not to be."
Bardic pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Alexia Staniotes, and other melancholy danes.
May 4, 2014
Jack the Giant Slayer
So there's this giant named Jack, and he slays things. Best guess from the title, anyway.
Super-sized wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Tristan Buckner, and other shrimps.
May 11, 2014
What happens when the pirate with the eyeshadow is a) not Johnny Depp, and b) a chick.
Jugular-slitting pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Maura Sipila, Alexia Staniotes, and other Jolly Rogers.
May 18, 2014
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Turns out spending a zillion dollars to make creepy CGI characters based on a video game doesn't always quite work.
The last of the wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Dan Foley, and other Square Enixes.
May 25, 2014
All right, all right! Matthew McConaughey is DIRK PITT, the pittiest dirk ever!
Arid pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Rose Lacy, and other pitts.
June 1, 2014
Howard the Duck
George Lucas's poor judgment costs $30M and grosses $15M.
Space-bestial wackiness ensues.
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other eggheads.
June 8, 2014
It's just like Star Wars, except starring little people and directed by Ronnie Cunningham. So, nothing at all like Star Wars.
Weeping pandemonium reigns.
Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Ziad Ezzat, and other Tyrions.
June 15, 2014, 6pm
Special Event (in a box!):
Rhiannon and Sherilyn's
Ewok Double Feature Birthday Sleepover!
To celebrate Rhiannon and Sherilyn's birthday(s), we're going to riff on the two Ewok movies. Fair warning: they're really bad.
Bring your jammies and blankets and get cozy. Necking with the birthday girls encouraged.
Ectoplasmic wackiness will ensue. SHOW BEGINS AT 6PM, BITCHES.